It all started with a ring.

Well, wedding proposals always start with a ring. Too weird of me to think otherwise.

From the start, I always knew that the wedding proposal (from Lex of course) was never a question of “Will it happen?” but rather an issue of “When will it be?”. Even before we were together we share the same sentiments with regards to dating and relationships. Be with someone who we really think is spouse material, not some random fling that can be changed any time. After we got together, random talks about marriage issues and how to go about it were always welcomed.

Essentially, we were really engaged. But we still kinda need the wedding proposal to mark the beginning of wedding plans. We also need the pre-proposal timeframe to sort out our personal endeavors (i.e. studies, career, enjoy remaining days of single blessedness, etc)

With that in mind, I would tell him time and time again that if ever he decides to propose, I will do the following:

1. Stop for a few seconds
2. Deliberate whether his proposal was acceptable based on my criteria (which were really easy to achieve, IMHO)
3. If not, say try again.
4. If passed:

a. Pause for a few more seconds.
b. Relish the moment.
c. Say ‘yes’

Good thing, He never questioned the algorithm or proposed any changes to it. Although he did made sarcastic comments about the three-months-salary engagement ring. But in my defense, I was misunderstood. I only said that there should be a time-frame when he’ll think that his salary (not necessarily 100%) will go to the ring. Because there should be the ritual of labor, right? Right.

It was some time in February (I think) when he contemplated on purchasing a new car. His second-hand Nissan Sentra was having more problems and owning it was more of a hassle than a luxury. Of course, there is always the issue of finances and not having enough savings for other things. When he asked for my opinion, I told him that it’ll be better for him to have a new car since the comfort and convenience might not translate to financial savings but at least he wouldn’t be so tired trying to do all his daily tasks. Thinking that a new car could serve as our first family car (his very words), I added that he should concentrate his financial efforts on the new car — not on an engagement ring (which I didn’t require to be too expensive in the first place). I even equated the car to a proposal so that he wouldn’t worry too much on how I’d take it. New car = engagement. That was the deal.

Fast forward to April. Despite the workload in the office, they were really gracious to approve my vacation leave so that I can attend Lex’s MA graduation. We were both relieved and happy that he finished his graduate studies considering the number of hurdles he went through to get there. I needed to go to the recognition rites even if it was a weekday.

After the ceremonies, Lex suggested we have lunch at some fine dining restaurant near UP. Since he was in a barong and I wore a fancy dress, I did not protest. No way would we drive to Techno Park, SM or Trinoma where all the undergraduates are. So we went straight to Zucchini’s — a super classy restaurant near A. Roces.

I really could not remember the exact sequence up to this point. I think somewhere in our conversations about his Master’s degree, his UP mentors, my work and how I should really go back after he just mentioned excitedly that he already bought my anniversary gift. He was really smiling and giddy which I translated to “I have an anniversary gift and you don’t. Ha!” (which is true… for shame!). Still excited about the gift, I asked repeatedly what it was. My mind stop guess when suddenly, a little box just appeared on the table. Still smiling, he opened the box and there it was…

A ring. Not a car, but a ring. THe ring.

And of course, I skipped number 3. =)

Nevertheless, I’m quite optimistic with the year ahead. 2009 was bittersweet (if not boring) and I couldn’t wait to see what’s in store for me this new year. Then again, even if monotony would still be included in my daily routine, I just hope more sweet memories will be associated with 2010.

Happy New Year everyone!

And as always, here is the token End-Of-Year meme.

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
- Be marooned in my own (well, technically my brother’s) home

Did you keep your New Years’ Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I remember my promise to be more sober when driving… still working on it.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
- Yup =)

Did anyone close to you die?
- Sadly yes. my father’s younger sister and my mother’s older sister.

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
- Hmmm…. an inflatable bed. and about 10 or more life vests

What days from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
- The Laiya trip

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Finished one short course despite the “busy” schedule

What was your biggest failure?
- Having a serious hobby

Did you suffer illness or injury?
- Not really. Recent trips to the Doctor confirmed some health issues I have.

What was the best thing you bought for 2009?
- Wii and the new laptop

Where did most of your money go?
- Savings?

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Joie’s vacation and the Laiya trip

What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
- No idea

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Can’t tell
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter?
iii. richer or poorer? Richer?

What do you wish you’d done more?
- Rest and outside work activities!

What do you wish you’d done less of?
- Worrying

What was your favorite TV program?
- Chuck!

What did you want and get
- An iPod Nano

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- 24, work, went to church, had dinner with family

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- an amphibious car

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
- same old same old

What kept you sane?
- Lex and …

What political issue stirred you the most?
- Ondoy, Pre-election news, Maguindanao

Who did you miss?
- Joie and maybe deeper conversations with random friends

Who was the best new person you met?
- Didn’t meet anyone new

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
- Have a little faith. Worry less. Pray more.

What did you like the most about yourself this year?
- ???

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
- The somewhat uncontrollable mood swings. I still don’t know if it’s innately me or the imbalance thing.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
- ???

Was 2009 a good year for you?
- Nope. Generally speaking

What’s your most favorite moment of the year?
- Laiya trip

What’s your least favorite moment of the year?
- When Lex told me he has polyps in his gall bladder

Where were you when 2009 began?
- At home

Who were you with?
- Family

Where will you be when 2009 ends?
- At home

Who will you be with when 2010 ends?
- Family

Do you have a new year’s resolution for 2010?
- Nope. I’ll make them if I’m serious about keeping them

What was your favorite month of 2009?
- February, April, December

What was your favorite record from 2009?
- ???

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
- Nope.

You did anything you are ashamed of this year?
- the little things I try to forget

What was your proudest moment of 2009?
- Nothing stands out

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
- Nothing stands out

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
- Transfer the car to a much higher plane

What are your plans for 2010?
- Work hard. Earn much more.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
- I’m trying to achieve financial independence

What are your wishes for the new year?
- Health, success and happiness for me and my loved ones

But somehow, Christmas feels different than before. I guess the joy and excitement of Christmas wears off as you grow older. That, and a handful of thoughts lingering in my head for some time now.  Christmas and harsh reality will take a very long time to mix. It may end up like oil and water no matter how hard I try.

I did manage to complete the Simbang Gabi. A feat worth saying since I could not remember the last time I completed the nine days novena. The idea of being granted a wish after it all gives me a sense of hope.

I am very much grateful for family, friends and my special guy. My wish will always be for their good health, safety and success. Because that is what Christmas is for me. Being around the people I love and seeing their success and happiness despite the cruelty beyond the warm walls of home.

Rest in peace, Miss Tara Santelices. May you finally have rest in the arms of our Lord.

Case in point:

I went bowling with Pam and Michelle last Labor Day weekend. I kept on saying a few meetings back that our barkada should really adopt a sport (for more gimmick options other than eating and drinking coffee) and I picked that weekend to start the resolution. We went to the bowling lanes in Eastwood (oh, the irony!) since Megamall was having a mall-wide sale and Sta. Lucia might be crowded as well.

We didn’t realize that it would be a sort-of High School reunion as we coincidentally run into 4 High school batchmates (plus 1 that Michelle met earlier that day plus 2 that Pam and I met after seeing Michelle off). Seven might be a small number but in a class that only has ~170 students and still has its own subgroups, it was a big deal.

Hearing different versions of how-are-you-and-where-are-you-working convinced me that my HS batchmates have come a long way since they’ve hung up the ol’ red plaid skirt (another batchmate of ours has just gotten married that day as well). It has, after all, already been two years (or one, for people like me) since we’ve graduated from College, six years from High School and ten (wow!) from Grade School.

Makes me wonder if I spent my post-High School years wisely. I didn’t even know if I had changed since graduating. Sure, I earned my degree and got my license, but as I told Pam, I’m still the same old girl with the messy wavy hair in plain T-shirt and jeans. Not that I base everything on looks, but the mere fact that I haven’t even walked beyond my grooming comfort circle would pretty much say I’m not doing/achieved anything extraordinary. I keep telling myself that I am destined for greatness. Though I really wish I’ve discovered what in the world I would be great at.

Or maybe I’m just thinking too much. I don’t know.

In 2008…
… all the things I worked hard for finally came into fruition. Thesis. Heavy acad load. URC. Graduation. Board Exam. Indeed, I am truly blessed.
… I got a job despite the impending global recession.
… my uncle passed away a few days before Christmas.
… my brother married the love of his life.

I realized that…
… sheer luck is nothing without hard work, and vice versa.
… prayers will see you through anything.
… I should move on and make some closure of my own.
… I must work with double the effort in less time.
… new friends come at the weirdest times and old friends are always there whenever you need anything (even the occasional gossip).
… we’re in a big place but live in a small world.

I am grateful for…
… family.
… friends — whether old or new.
… all my victories and defeats.
… the gifts I have received — even the ones that came from me.
… food — one of the best mood uplifters ever.
… the three little cute piggies — one hug and all is well again.
… the Dearest.

I am still praying for…
… world peace.
… prosperity, good health and long life.
… more learning experiences and the ability to retain all of them.
… more blessings — for me and all my loved ones.
… happiness and peace of mind.

I resolve to…
… do whatever it takes to improve myself. (well, that has been my resolution ever since ever).

Happy New Year, everyone! =)

Having free time after work feels surreal. I think I need a week or two to actually get used to not having to study all night long. But that’s reserved for another blog entry. I have been meaning to answer this meme for a long time. Good thing I don’t have to put it away for a year.

You know the drill. 5 questions from other people. If you want to join, leave a comment and I’ll ask you 5 questions. Post the answers in your blog and let others join in as well.

1st Set: from Alet

1. What one thing would you change in your life if you had the power to do so?

I really don’t think thatI would want to change something in my life. I have been so blessed with so many things that it really means nothing to the horrible circumstances that you went through. It would be great to have all sunshine throughout your life but I learned that the thorns on the side really does make you a stronger person.

2. Describe your ideal superpower and what you would do if you had it.

Hmmm… I’d like to have the power to freeze time. Pretty harmless, but I can take my time doing things that I have to do in a longer time span. Like sleep some more, or savor a precious moment, or keep lunch breaks longer

3. Do you think candles are romantic or a fire hazard?

Depends. Just like love, use freely but handle with care. naks!

4. Tell me something you did in the last 24 hours, no matter how big or small, that you think I will be interested to hear.

Nothing special happened today. So, I’d rather tell something that happened a few days ago… I passed my board exams! weeee~!

5. What is the worst thing anyone could ever do to you?

Hmm… no comment? hehe, maybe forget something really important. Because it could gauge how much someone values everything that surrounds him / her.

2nd Set: from Cheska

Questions: (syempre, please explain the Whys of your answers)

1. If given a choice to run for office for the 2010 election, what position would you run for? (considering you had a fighting chance to win whatever position it is that you choose)

President! Because as the saying goes, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself… or change starts from me, and everybody has to follow! But seriously, I don’t think I could emotionally handle being the Philippine president, given the current style of politics we have. I’d much rather be in a position where I could use my expertise – like the NTC or CICT.

2. If we didn’t meet in elementary, where do you think we would have met? Do you think we’d be as close as we are today?

UP, I guess. We would meet during UP AME application period. I’d like to think we would still be as close either way. It’s fate. We just had to be friends

3. Would you really have eaten Michelle’s cat Carl if he was turned into siopao?

Nope. I don’t eat cats (eeeeeewwww!). Seeing Carl siopao is enough (God bless his kitty soul. He must have been in kitty heaven now).

4. If you were to build your dream house, where would it be?

Hmmm… any where with easy access to electricity, water, cable and broadband internet access is fine and of course, I’d have to live with my dream family.

5. Why do you think are ice cream’s cold? Couldn’t they have been invented to be warm or hot?

Maybe because warm and sweet just couldn’t mix? The freshly baked pastries/cookies are the only warm sweets that I know. I don’t think they would invent ice ceam to be warm or hot. It would be too hard to manage sugar rush

I just hope I do pass this licensure exam. Wish me luck!

And for destressing purposes, I give you the “Who do I remember”/”Secret Questions” meme courtesy of Cheska and Kel.

1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits.
3. Answer one question with one name.
4. Don’t tell the questions to anyone who isn’t doing the meme.

1. dear sister, Lucia
2. ang barkada kong nagsisitanda na… 
3. no one really.
4. Ate Flori
5. Lucia!
6. Lew and RJ. Ace Durano paper dolls, anyone?
7. Tatia
8. Section 2 + Kai and Lew
9. Pam
10. Mama
11. Jusi! joke! But now, he’s a changed man. *applause*
12. Cheska and Laurice
13. sige na nga…  Kel
14. seriously? Earl
15. I have seen enough of them during my college days… I’d like to give that a rest
16. Kuya
17. *secret*
18. Ate Claire
19. Joielet
20. Victor
21. *secret uilt!*I might get in trouble for this.
22. I’d rather not say. The answer would also give 21 away
23. SE Edgar. then PVECS. then Madam Me-ann and then … well, you get the picture.
24.  Ate Jing. Wala pa nga akong ginagawa, nagkapasa na ako… scary.
25. Me! (feelingera)
26. Lex (haha!)
27. I believe everyone has the capacity to do so. It’s just a question of who and/or what
28. DG 12! So we can go straight to the photoshoot.
29. Lex
30. Leave a comment to know the questions. Or better yet, leave a comment to wish me luck in my exam!

Work on weekdays and review on the weekends. Rest and other social activities are reduced to a few hours on weeknights and Saturday mornings.

But how am I supposed to squeeze in a little more reading and review after the classes? Argh…..

My schedule is so tight that I often forget that I have other things I want to do/attend (i.e. dinners, vacations, etc.). If some of these hadn’t been scheduled in Eastwood, I wouldn’t not have attended any of them!

*Sigh*

I do hope after all this review, refresher and coaching sessions I have to attend, I pass the ECE Board exam. Although, it wouldn’t have any significant change in my present job, I do want to see my hardwork and pay off and mak my parents proud.

And it still feels surreal. Probably because my mind is still stuck in April with all the drama saturated in one month. That, and I am feeling nostalgic.

For the record, I am elated that I graduated after all the things I went through for the past five years. It feels alienating though, to not be around with the same people I used to be with. And change can be pretty unfriendly especially if doubts and fears surface once more.

In short, I miss all my college friends… mapa-ESC man o Circuit o DSP… There, I said it.

I tried to pick up my stuff that I left behind in DSP earlier this afternoon… tried being the operative word. No cars at the parking lot and an unlit DSP lab means no people to talk to. I opted to leave my stuff behind thinking I could still have the excuse to just casually walk by EEE whenever I need to. I just hope they haven’t thrown my stuff away.

***

8 days since I started working

Fortunately for me, I am now employed by one of the big IT companies out there. I would have given myself one more month or r and r, but with the way things are going with the rising living expenses and the erratic job market, I didn’t want to risk it.

Things have been working well so far. Friends and acquaintances are no problem since the EEE batchmates are still sticking together. People in the company say the first three months are usually spent on training, orientation and more training, however the top guys in management would like to deploy us to our respective groups on an earlier date. I just hope I get to be assigned in the group that I want… else, my background would have been wasted.

***

14 days before the ECE board exam review

Once again I find myself juggling too many tasks in a short period of time.

Then, it was either the 20-unit-in-a-sem or the 198-113-115 combo, now it’s work+board exam review. Good thing I am not alone with this load, though. I know a handful of my work colleagues and other batchmates who are doing the same thing. Another obvious drawback is the full week I’ll be experiencing.

No more weekend slacking for me, that’s for sure. And It doesn’t help to have a colleague who just recently placed 5th in the board exam, either. The pressure just keeps coming and coming.

Dear Lord, please help me…

***

Another 6 months to make it all happen

Short term goals that can be realized in half a year. This is one thing in College that I surely didn’t miss. But alas, I still have to live with it.

Get through training and pass the board exam. Just two of the things I have to accomplish before the other plans would commence.

Hello sleepless nights, I am back again.