But somehow, Christmas feels different than before. I guess the joy and excitement of Christmas wears off as you grow older. That, and a handful of thoughts lingering in my head for some time now.  Christmas and harsh reality will take a very long time to mix. It may end up like oil and water no matter how hard I try.

I did manage to complete the Simbang Gabi. A feat worth saying since I could not remember the last time I completed the nine days novena. The idea of being granted a wish after it all gives me a sense of hope.

I am very much grateful for family, friends and my special guy. My wish will always be for their good health, safety and success. Because that is what Christmas is for me. Being around the people I love and seeing their success and happiness despite the cruelty beyond the warm walls of home.

Rest in peace, Miss Tara Santelices. May you finally have rest in the arms of our Lord.

Case in point:

I went bowling with Pam and Michelle last Labor Day weekend. I kept on saying a few meetings back that our barkada should really adopt a sport (for more gimmick options other than eating and drinking coffee) and I picked that weekend to start the resolution. We went to the bowling lanes in Eastwood (oh, the irony!) since Megamall was having a mall-wide sale and Sta. Lucia might be crowded as well.

We didn’t realize that it would be a sort-of High School reunion as we coincidentally run into 4 High school batchmates (plus 1 that Michelle met earlier that day plus 2 that Pam and I met after seeing Michelle off). Seven might be a small number but in a class that only has ~170 students and still has its own subgroups, it was a big deal.

Hearing different versions of how-are-you-and-where-are-you-working convinced me that my HS batchmates have come a long way since they’ve hung up the ol’ red plaid skirt (another batchmate of ours has just gotten married that day as well). It has, after all, already been two years (or one, for people like me) since we’ve graduated from College, six years from High School and ten (wow!) from Grade School.

Makes me wonder if I spent my post-High School years wisely. I didn’t even know if I had changed since graduating. Sure, I earned my degree and got my license, but as I told Pam, I’m still the same old girl with the messy wavy hair in plain T-shirt and jeans. Not that I base everything on looks, but the mere fact that I haven’t even walked beyond my grooming comfort circle would pretty much say I’m not doing/achieved anything extraordinary. I keep telling myself that I am destined for greatness. Though I really wish I’ve discovered what in the world I would be great at.

Or maybe I’m just thinking too much. I don’t know.

And it still feels surreal. Probably because my mind is still stuck in April with all the drama saturated in one month. That, and I am feeling nostalgic.

For the record, I am elated that I graduated after all the things I went through for the past five years. It feels alienating though, to not be around with the same people I used to be with. And change can be pretty unfriendly especially if doubts and fears surface once more.

In short, I miss all my college friends… mapa-ESC man o Circuit o DSP… There, I said it.

I tried to pick up my stuff that I left behind in DSP earlier this afternoon… tried being the operative word. No cars at the parking lot and an unlit DSP lab means no people to talk to. I opted to leave my stuff behind thinking I could still have the excuse to just casually walk by EEE whenever I need to. I just hope they haven’t thrown my stuff away.

***

8 days since I started working

Fortunately for me, I am now employed by one of the big IT companies out there. I would have given myself one more month or r and r, but with the way things are going with the rising living expenses and the erratic job market, I didn’t want to risk it.

Things have been working well so far. Friends and acquaintances are no problem since the EEE batchmates are still sticking together. People in the company say the first three months are usually spent on training, orientation and more training, however the top guys in management would like to deploy us to our respective groups on an earlier date. I just hope I get to be assigned in the group that I want… else, my background would have been wasted.

***

14 days before the ECE board exam review

Once again I find myself juggling too many tasks in a short period of time.

Then, it was either the 20-unit-in-a-sem or the 198-113-115 combo, now it’s work+board exam review. Good thing I am not alone with this load, though. I know a handful of my work colleagues and other batchmates who are doing the same thing. Another obvious drawback is the full week I’ll be experiencing.

No more weekend slacking for me, that’s for sure. And It doesn’t help to have a colleague who just recently placed 5th in the board exam, either. The pressure just keeps coming and coming.

Dear Lord, please help me…

***

Another 6 months to make it all happen

Short term goals that can be realized in half a year. This is one thing in College that I surely didn’t miss. But alas, I still have to live with it.

Get through training and pass the board exam. Just two of the things I have to accomplish before the other plans would commence.

Hello sleepless nights, I am back again.

I wish I could fast forward the whole month and the first part of October just in time for semestral break. But until I find the ‘Click-ish’ solution to my present situation, I have to figure out the following:

1. How to be a recording artist and the audio engineer in a span of a week
2. How to extract all the parameters for our thesis. And prepare the project proposal as well.
3. How to master the 2nd law of thermodynamics by Wednesday
4. Read 3 chapters of Rappaport by the end of the week
5. Present a panel discussion for Comm 3
6. Submit the taxation assignment in CE 22
7. Help with ‘MC in a day’ seminar this Saturday

And that’s just for this week. Come to think of it, the next weeks will be tougher.

However, there should be overwhelming good news to counteract my stressful weeks ahead…

Cheska will be back by Friday~ and

Congrats to my dear friend, Jamie for passing the MedTech board exam!

To emphasize my age and fear of graduation, I had my graduation pictorial last Friday. As they always say, misery loves company — so I kinda influenced my Circuit batchmates to have their pictorial on the same schedule. After all the frenzy, we just abused (hehe) Elaine’s digicam with all our pictures. I really had no idea how my grad pictures would turn out. You see, the hair and make-up artist (AKA the hired bading beautician) straightened my hair with a flat iron. The only time my hair could ever be straight is when I have a hair spa or have my hair relaxed. As expected, he/she kept on fixing my hair before and during my shoot. Sometimes, I get so focused on fixing my hair and the photographer’s instructions that I forget to smile and project — the two most important things in any pictorial! Sayang naman ang binayad ko kung hindi naman ako maganda sa grad pic ko diba?

Hopefully, my creative pic would save the (potentially) horrid formal pictures. What’s my creative pic, you ask? Well, you all just have to wait until I get the contact prints from the studio. All I can say is, “Makakakain na rin ako! Woot!”

And eat, I did.

Yesterday, I got to attend two birthday celebrations: Michelle’s and Ate Camilla’s. Michelle’s birthday blowout was more than a week late since I had a make-up class last Saturday and Pam had her monthly exams. At least we had the chance to meet together even for just a few minutes. With our weird schedule, I guess lunch out with the barkada has become a luxury. Oh, and yeah, Michelle’s working in Ortigas for a month now, so weekday meetings are rather impossible. Then again, she is asking us to work in Ortigas as well so we could have lunch outs. Teka, ano nga ba ulit ang mga companies sa Ortigas na pwede akong kunin after graduation? Hmm…

To end the day, I rushed to Shangrila for Ate Camilla’s birthday blowout (Belated Advance Happy Birthday ulit!). I’ll not include any other details to protect the identities of the people present. Pictures are kept safely in the IC’s of my memory card so there’ll be no “scandalous” pictures circulating the web. Although, if you really want a copy…

So now I’m back to my old boring life of studying, thesis preparations, and more studying. Good thing, I bought the Guylian Belgian chocolates from Michelle. Ha! I can finally eat chocolates!